What a relief!

Now we can rest easy (...even if we are having nightmares!)

Hmmmm...

This gives a whole new meaning to playing doctor!

Slackers!

Always looking for a free ride!

Now if we could only undo the damage done by those pesky liberals...

It ain't over!

On this day in 1925, John Scopes was found guilty of teaching evolution in a Tennessee high school.

Read more about the trial here.

The summer of love?

Most remember 1967 as the summer of love. Unfortunately, it was something entirely different for the people of Detroit.

Monday, July 23 marks the 40th anniversary of one of the United State’s most destructive riots ever.

History should be a lesson that we must never forget.

WTF??

That's it. Just a big fat WTF??

For once, we're utterly speechless.

Restraints and other delights!

We love getting gagged as much as the next freak but this is truly disturbing:

"Damning testimony of Dr Richard Carmona, the surgeon general from 2002 until last year, has revealed that the Bush administration frequently censored him and tried to mould his public statements to fit political goals. He was even ordered to mention President Bush three times on every page of his speeches...

The Bush White House banned the Surgeon General from speaking or issuing reports on stem cells, emergency contraception, sex education, prisons, mental health and international health issues..."

Even the Special Olympics were deemed politically suspect, because they receive considerable support from the Kennedy family"

Damn bleeding hearts!

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE

...there's a hefty f*ckin' fee.

(Unless of course you're controlling the puppet's purse strings).

Don't say we didn't warn you.

There is nothing to fear

No really, there's nothing to fear.

Pure Genius

In another ingenuous marketing move, Prince has trumped the music industry once again by giving away his latest CD with the Sunday tabloid edition of The Mail.

While the music industry has been busy vehemently expressing it's outrage (out of fear of losing total control, in our opinion), Prince is laughing all the way to the bank . Simply put... in an industry where seasoned performers are routinely tossed on the trash heap in favor of the latest, autotuned, silicon mannequin - Prince has proven to be more relevant than ever. While the rest of the industry was, and still is, trying to bury it, Prince embraced internet music distribution early on and his past marketing ploys were nothing short of brilliant. Without his foresight, there is little doubt that he would be playing small local summer fests along side other oldies acts. Say what you will about his music, he has proven that he remains a bad ass. Funk 'em if they can't take a joke.

If you can't beat 'em...

Bribe some whores to f*** 'em for you!

JaGoFF on the radio tonight!

Wanna funk?

JaGoFF will be featured on Fearless Radio's "Peace and Pipedreams" show tonight between 7:00pm and 10:00pm thanks to our good friend Jimmy! If you're on the web, you can check it out.

Don't forget clean underwear cuz it's bound to get 7 kinds of nasty...

Peace and love from the Southside of Chicago:
IN FUNK WE TRUST

Sorry if this isn't dumbed down enough

Today in congress, an amendment from Jim Webb and Chuck Hagel to give soldiers who are fatigued and exhausted by redeployment after redeployment more time to rest, retrain and prepare for their next round of battle was stopped short when the Republican leadership decided to put a procedural hurdle in the way.

Dick Durbin said it best: "It was wrong that we didn't stand by the military families who sit at home in anticipation, prayerful anticipation of the next phone call, the next e-mail. It was wrong that so many members of the Senate who boast about supporting our troops wouldn't stand for our troops when the Webb-Hagel amendment gave us a chance."

The real news though is that you can't find it in the news. Only here could we find the transcript.

Read it and weep.

The Landing of the Mothership!

The desired effect is what you get when you improve your interplanetary funksmanship!

Amazing to say the least!

USE IT OR LOSE IT

Today is "Fair Use" Day!

For an absolutely hilarious and informative example of fair use in action look no further than this brillant example (created by Professor Eric Faden of Bucknell University).

Act like y'knew!

Today, July 11, 1984, U.S. Transportation Secretary Elizabeth Dole, under heavy pressure from car makers who did not want to install airbags, caved in to their lobbyists and cut a tawdry deal: "If states representing two-thirds of the United States population enact mandatory seat belt usage laws by April 1, 1989," the car manufacturers would not have to install airbags.

Here's the long infuriating story.

...and it all started with a good conspiracy starring someone we all love to take for granted:
(Wait 'til you read this!)

Oh yeah, and while you haters are at it, you can blame him for these too:

National Traffic and Motor Vehicle Safety Act
Safe Drinking Water Act
Clean Air Act
Wholesome Meat Act
United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)
Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA)
Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC)
Freedom of Information Act

Damn liberals ;-)

Today in History

Fun facts to know and tell...

0552 - Origin of Armenian calendar
1832 - Pres Jackson vetoed legislation to re-charter 2nd Bank of US
1862 - US begins construction of Central Pacific Railroad
1863 - Battle of Charleston, SC (Morris Island) [->SEP 06]
1863 - Battle of Jackson, MS - captured by federals [->JUL 16]
1890 - Wyoming becomes 44th state of US (1st with female suffrage)
1892 - 1st concrete-paved street built (Bellefountaine, Ohio)
1917 - Emma Goldman imprisoned for obstructing draft
1919 - Pres Wilson personally delivers Treaty of Versailles to Senate
1910 - Chicago White Sox Comiskey Park opens, visiting Browns win 2-0
1925 - Jury selection took place in John T Scopes evolution trial
1933 - 1st police radio system operated, Eastchester Township, NY
1938 - Howard Hughes flies around the world in 91 hours
1940 - Battle of Britain began as Nazi forces attacked by air (114 days)
1942 - Himmler orders sterilization of all Jewish woman in Ravensbruck Camp
1949 - 1st practical rectangular TV tube announced-Toledo, Oh
1956 - 650,000 US steel workers go on strike
1956 - US performs atmospheric nuclear test at Bikini Island
1962 - US performs atmospheric nuclear test at Christmas Island
1962 - Telstar, 1st geosynchronous communications satellite, launched
1962 - Martin Luther King Jr arrested during demonstration in Georgia
1965 - Rolling Stones score their 1st #1, "I Can't Get No Satisfaction"
1966 - US launches Orbiter 1 to the Moon
1972 - Democratic convention opens in Miami Beach Florida (McGovern)
1973 - Bahamas declares Independence from UK and adopts constitution
1979 - Chuck Berry sentenced to 4 months for $200,000 in tax evasion
1985 - French agents sink Greenpeace's Rainbow Warrior in NZ
1981 - US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
1975 - Gladys Knight and Pips Summer Series premieres on NBC-TV

$1 million could be yours!

But only if you can answer yes to this question:

"Have you had a sexual encounter with a current member of the United States Congress or a high-ranking government official?"

Larry Flynt wants to know!

SNAP - Karma's a bitch!

When in doubt - JaGoFF!

...or wrap it up, because There's One Born Every Minute!

Star Impersonator Wars

Wookie escapes booking!

Really. We couldn't make this one up.

Free Your Mind

...and your astronomers will follow!

Scientists looking for alien life have been recently encouraged to think outside the box in part because of what has recently been discovered right here on planet Earth.

Today's lesson will be covering Extraterrestrials vs. Extremophiles!

Alien indeed.

WOW

...just wow.

Paris Hilton

PART II

We didn't think it was possible

...for traffic conditions to get any worse in Chicago!

WTF?!!?

Forget about it

...now you can.

Wait, what were we just saying???